Cringe-Worthy Self Exams

This morning, I decided it was a good idea to grab a mirror and check out my vagina.

Yeah, I know what you’re thinking… “Catherine, why would you do that to yourself? Why in God’s name would you want to check out your own vagina?”

Curiosity. That’s why.

So there I was, one foot on the dresser, the other on the floor, mirror held precariously between my chunky thighs… and there it was.

My lady cave.

My snatch.

My baby cannon.

And the words that left my lips?

“JESUS CHRIST! IS THAT MY VAGINA!?!”

It so did NOT look like it did when I was twenty. That was my first thought, and the most overpowering one.

But then, I realized that it looked pretty damn good for being the welcome banner for two children, one of which was half an ounce away from being a full ten pounds.

So high five, honey pot.

Go me.
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